I guess first, I need to take you way back to an entry made on Monday May 11, 2009
(Just remember, these are simply the thoughts I put on paper at the end of my day. Nothing I have written was meant to be extraordinarily creative, just a note to help me remember the special moments in life. I have cut and pasted below a note about the day I found out I was pregnant).
Today is my evaluation for work and I am excited. Today I find out how others perceive my passion and dedication for the job I do working with children. It's a chance to learn how to improve myself, almost like a free do over. I look forward to this every year. Anyhow, today is also day 28. You know what happens on day 28 and for me, the same thing has happened every single month for the last 12 months in a row. Maybe, just maybe today will be 'different'.
I follow my usual routine and unenthusiastically pee on a generic pregnancy strip (just like I have every single month for a year now). I expect to see that single faded line, the one that seems to go away when the test strip dries.
I was hovering over the strip on the counter praying, thinking that today has the potential to be a really great day. Meanwhile, Scott walks in and asks, "Well?"
I replied, "Umm, that line there usually goes away when the test dries, but today it appears darker than usual." That was the end of our conversation, he kisses me like he always does and leaves for work.
I start to feel butterflies because the single line on the test was lingering. I decided to sit back on the toilet and attempt to squeeze out any ounce of pee that I had left in me so I could run a digital test, you know, one that flashes a big YES or NO afterwards, leaving no possible doubt.
I pulled the cap off the digital test and the stick started blinking, oh crap, I threw away the directions when I consolidated my 20+ pregnancy tests into two boxes. I think to myself, what does the blinking mean, how long do I let the test blink before I dip it?, are the batteries working right? I had no idea what to do, so I panicked and just dipped the stick hoping for the best..... it continues blinking…..Ugh.....It didn't work.
Good thing I had a backup plan, I run and get a standard test from my collection of tests. You know about the standard test, the one with the traditional two lines. I dip the standard test and literally absorb the last drop of pee I managed to squeeze out earlier. While impatiently waiting to see if there were one or two lines on the standard test, the digital test pops up YES at exactly the same time the standard one magically places two lines on it. No, no no way! I was in a quiet, motionless, scared state of shock (if that exists).
So, how do I tell Scott?
I called him to tell him that I had some papers that he needed to sign for work and I would be by at 1:30. He came out to my car, got in, and I pulled the digital test out of my lunch bag. He says, "Oh? Cool, that’s what I thought you were coming here for."
He had a really embarrassed look on his face and when I asked why he replied, "Because you have been carrying a pregnancy test in your lunch bag!"
He gave me a kiss and commented, "It's early, don’t go telling everyone yet, plus we need to do a budget and start saving.
That is so my husband, I gotta love him.
(Just remember, these are simply the thoughts I put on paper at the end of my day. Nothing I have written was meant to be extraordinarily creative, just a note to help me remember the special moments in life. I have cut and pasted below a note about the day I found out I was pregnant).
Today is my evaluation for work and I am excited. Today I find out how others perceive my passion and dedication for the job I do working with children. It's a chance to learn how to improve myself, almost like a free do over. I look forward to this every year. Anyhow, today is also day 28. You know what happens on day 28 and for me, the same thing has happened every single month for the last 12 months in a row. Maybe, just maybe today will be 'different'.
I follow my usual routine and unenthusiastically pee on a generic pregnancy strip (just like I have every single month for a year now). I expect to see that single faded line, the one that seems to go away when the test strip dries.
I was hovering over the strip on the counter praying, thinking that today has the potential to be a really great day. Meanwhile, Scott walks in and asks, "Well?"
I replied, "Umm, that line there usually goes away when the test dries, but today it appears darker than usual." That was the end of our conversation, he kisses me like he always does and leaves for work.
I start to feel butterflies because the single line on the test was lingering. I decided to sit back on the toilet and attempt to squeeze out any ounce of pee that I had left in me so I could run a digital test, you know, one that flashes a big YES or NO afterwards, leaving no possible doubt.
I pulled the cap off the digital test and the stick started blinking, oh crap, I threw away the directions when I consolidated my 20+ pregnancy tests into two boxes. I think to myself, what does the blinking mean, how long do I let the test blink before I dip it?, are the batteries working right? I had no idea what to do, so I panicked and just dipped the stick hoping for the best..... it continues blinking…..Ugh.....It didn't work.
Good thing I had a backup plan, I run and get a standard test from my collection of tests. You know about the standard test, the one with the traditional two lines. I dip the standard test and literally absorb the last drop of pee I managed to squeeze out earlier. While impatiently waiting to see if there were one or two lines on the standard test, the digital test pops up YES at exactly the same time the standard one magically places two lines on it. No, no no way! I was in a quiet, motionless, scared state of shock (if that exists).
So, how do I tell Scott?
I called him to tell him that I had some papers that he needed to sign for work and I would be by at 1:30. He came out to my car, got in, and I pulled the digital test out of my lunch bag. He says, "Oh? Cool, that’s what I thought you were coming here for."
He had a really embarrassed look on his face and when I asked why he replied, "Because you have been carrying a pregnancy test in your lunch bag!"
He gave me a kiss and commented, "It's early, don’t go telling everyone yet, plus we need to do a budget and start saving.
That is so my husband, I gotta love him.
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