The birth of the royal baby, yes I have to admit I was caught up in the action and hype for many reasons. Only, I have a feeling my reasons are only partly similar to the rest of the worlds.
The fantasy princess in me enjoys the fairytale of the commoner meeting a prince, falling in love, having a cinderella wedding, living in a castle, and having a baby. Life couldn't be more magical for Kate and I was completly absorbed by watching her live out every girls dream.
But when I heard they were not going to find out the sex of the baby I secretly panicked for them. I began to wonder if they knew what they were in for asking for a surprise at birth. I was thinking to myself, if the ultrasound tech doesnt look at gender, did they look at everything else closely enough? Were the cord vessels accounted for, was there a nasal bone detected, did the radiologist measure the nuchal thickness precisely, were the ears landmarked accordingly, was the heart chambers and function monitored thouroughly?
So many things are supposed to be detected via ultrasound but so often I think we get caught up in the routine of normalacy, assuming that all is well with the baby as long as he/she is growing and moving correctly.
I wondered what Kate was thinking throughout her pregnancy. Did she expect anything less than perfect? Was she ever scared that something might not go as planned? Did she think about how she would tell the world that her baby was not perfect if that became the case?
And then what? What would the worlds reaction be to the news that Kate's baby had a disfigured face, a heart condition, too many fingers, or so on.
You would see the Inquire blame Kate for what she ate or lack of prenatal care. Other's might blame the mishap on the foods or vaccinations she received while she was pregnant. There would be a very very small population that would defend her saying, "There was absolutely nothing Kate did to cause these defects.". Do you see my point? So often the blame somehow unintentionally gets put on the mother. We must be very careful how we treat new moms who are grieving surprises at birth and help them validate their thoughts and feelings reassuring them that this was in no way their fault.
And further in my mind, I couldn't help but wonder if an imperfect baby would be stripped of the honor of being a prince? What if the position as a future ruler was taken away because the baby had a cognitive impairment? All of this stripped from an innocent baby, less than one day old.
My point being.... What is the worlds perception of perfect? In the flash of a moment we place so much judgement on an innocent baby.
We need to start giving chances during those moments, not doubts. We live in a world where we are innoent until proven guilty. Why is this not the case with those who have special needs?
Why can't we assume these kids will do everything you and I can do, untill they show us otherwise?!!
The birth of the royal baby has my mind spinning not only about the worlds view of perfection but also about the demands of a special needs mother.
If Kate's baby did have something wron, would she be able to put aside her day job and assist with countless hours of physical, occupational, and speech therapy? Would she stay awake at night after her royal family has gone to bed and research the condition, treatments, best doctors, special diets, etc...? Would she get enough time off from work to get the baby to the 9 specialty doctors the baby would be assigned to? Would Kate have the time to repetitively teach the baby how to sit, crawl, stand, hold a cup, how to take a drink, when to use a spoon verses a fork, concepts such as hot/cold, big/little. Would she be available at all hours of the night to suction or reposition the baby and still look glowing in morning?
You get the idea. The demands of a special needs mom are never ending and exhausting. I know those of you who do not have special needs kids are thinking that motherhood is demanding or exhausting but I have both and can honestly say that raising MacGregor has been hands down a piece of cake compared to raising Maddox.
Here is just an example. At dinner MacGregor can stuff a piece of toast in his mouth and knows how to manipulate this so he doesn't choke. Maddox has a smaller airway and bites must be closely monitored. MacGregor automatically knows a spoon is for scooping and a fork is for poking. I've been teaching Maddox this concept for one year now, at every meal, every day. I draw pictures and make her use her fork to try and scoop Showing her it won't work. I rack my brain on how to get her to understand. MacGregor can pick up a cup of milk and guage how much to tip into his mouth and Maddox is still working on this skill two years later. I can give MacGregor a napkin and he says thank you. I give Maddox a napkin and we must work using sign language, pictures, and articulation techniques to get this simple phrase out.
Would Kate seriously have the time to turn every breathing moment into a teachable moment and spend every possible extra moment practicing?
I guess I must end my spout of random thoughts. Everything turned out perfect and Kate won't be faced with the hardships of what we special needs mother's go through. I don't want to be biased to only special needs though because motherhood for all children takes an amazing strength, passion, and commitment. It's something we wouldn't trade for the world. Thanks for checking out my blog, now go take 30 seconds and dedicate them to each of your babies, look at them, breathe them in, smile at them, and tell them how much you love them.
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