Happy Jamie's Favorite Holiday!

Start light, star bright. I wish I may, I wish I might, have this wish I wish tonight......
Anyhow, this year was a bit different than the others. We had a great time, but there were moments. It unfolds like this. We started with our traditional red, white, and blue breakfast! Blueberry pancakes with raspberry syrup and cool whip. Check it out! YUM
Maddox also enjoyed her red and white breakfast which consisted of cereal and her first taste of watermelon. It took a moment for her to figure the teether out, then had to plan how to get it to her mouth, but when she finally does, she goes gaga over the melon!
After breakfast we painted our toes red, white, and blue. We also changed into outfit number one. Maddox had four different outfits for today’s occasion. I didn’t even have to pretend to spill something on her, she earned the messy award on her own every three hours!! I will try to post photos of her wardrobe from today, right now, they are all in the laundry!
The day started in the park for lunch. Pictures will be posted soon! I can’t believe how much STUFF we needed just to spend 12 hours in town. I need a bigger SUV, maybe something with 5 rows. One row for Maddox, one row for Maddox’s supplies, one row for the dogs, one row for Scott and I, and I guess, one row for whoever wants to join our adventure! The sandcastle contest was in full swing and lunch at the park under a shaded tree with the waves rolling in was very peaceful.
I must add that I usually have spunk on this holiday. Today, I was a little less spunkless. I guess it started when a young gal at the park asked why Maddox’s head looks small and her eyes look funny or why she keeps sticking her tongue out. My mind froze. Is this an innocent four year old simply asking questions or could this little girl quite possibly detect that something is different? In my profession, you get really good at improvising answers to a variety of children’s spontaneous questions, only this time ‘I had nothin.’ Literally nothing. “Do you want another cookie?” I asked.
Next is the parade. I had dreamt of taking our new baby to the parade. I wanted to see her reaction to all the floats going by. For some reason we bailed. Yep, we totally skipped it. The three of us went home, piled in our king sized bed with the two dogs, a cat, and snuggled for a nice family nap in the AC. Now, that family time was much better than any ol parade!
A few hours later we loaded up again to head to a good friends house to celebrate the evening. We ate an incredible barbecue and had fabulous company. Usually Scott and I are the doers, but today, I found ourselves being the followers. Wonder if the whole new parenting thing has anything to do with it? We have to me more concerned about Maddox’s needs now.
Regardless, we were totally breaking parenting rules today..... Drink your dinner, kibosh the bath, bye bye bedtime, and please stay awake for the fireworks. I think Maddox was training for this, the previous two nights she stayed up until almost 11:00 PM!
Here she is waiting very patiently with her not so patient daddy for the firework show (actually, Scott was a trooper today, thank you babes for going along with everything).
I have a firework buddy for life. Isn’t this picture priceless?!

To the right is a photo of Maddox hanging with her fan club (and glow sticks)!
Funny fact: Every Saturday I tell myself I am going to stay up and watch the entire episode of SNL. It never fails, I barely get to the part where they say, “Live from New York, it’s Saturday night” before I am out like a light.
Maddox seems to take after her mommy. She saw the first firework and then WAS OUT LIKE A LIGHT!
We fought the traffic and arrived safely home with only one swear word from Scott. Tradition has it, I usually end up lighting a few sparklers on the back deck all by myself as I wind down from the day’s highs. That didn’t happen this year. Instead, I grabbed my camera and lit up the flash in the bedroom of my most precious sparkler. Happy first Fourth of July baby!
While this 4th of July seemed difficult, different, a little sad, and at times, emotionally draining, I do think a lot is going to change. I believe that 365 days from now will bring a whole new attitude and I really can’t wait to see what my blog post reads. I suppose it is like grieving a loss in a way. With every first time event you can’t help but think about how the experience ‘would have been’ if things turned out differently, more like I had planned. And, unfortunately everyday there is a new first and tagging right along with that comes a new grieve. So, I guess the goal is to get through the year, then all the first firsts will be over. I won’t have a choice but to pick up my baggage and throw it overboard because there is no excuse, it will be time to start building positive memories.