On the other hand, my mind is not there yet, all I can think of is that I don’t know if I can fight the fights.
I now not only have to fight it for myself, for the families I work with, but now I have to fight for an education for our own daughter.
I am going to break down if I have to sign the paperwork. I will make Scott do it. What is it, what is the reason I am in this job and why is this all happening to me? Yes I know there is a purpose but give me some insight. Today we hold the meeting with my co-workers to arrange services for our daughter. There is no magical pill that can just make me ok with this.
Mom cleaned the house so it would be perfect for Maddox’s teacher while and paced around pretending to help. My mom was excited to see what the teacher would do. I carefully chose the blanket that this teacher had given me for the baby shower and laid it out on the floor. It was a magical graceful moment. I prayed this blanket had magical powers to help Maddox perform developmentally appropriate.
As it turns out, Maddox responded to her session very well. She was tracking and batting at toys purposefully. She snuggled and held it together very well for the teacher. There is nothing special about this education. It is simply very educated people trying to help Maddox achieve her full potential. Oh and a side note, ‘normal’ kids miss out on this awesome opportunity. (I am still trying to find the bright side in dealing with this-no offense was intended for the healthy children)
Maddox’s world seemed to change today and she was alert for several hours after the session. Tonight she didn’t want to go to sleep. Mom and I sat in her room and watched her talk to her butterflies for an hour and ‘giggled like highschoolers’. It was so cute, another good moment for the record books.