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Shame on You - My reaction to recent news story

2/8/2015

10 Comments

 
A lot of people are asking my opinion of the recent news story about the wife who left her husband because he refused to give up his newborn son with Down syndrome.  This is my response. 


To be brutally honest, five years ago if my husband had offered to leave me, run away to a beautiful place and take care of my baby I would have happily agreed - and the world would have shamed me, just as they are doing to this mother. 


We can't judge her. You see, nobody knows anyone's story. And my story (five years ago) went like this. 


It is rare to have a baby born with Down syndrome. It's rarer to have a baby born with translocation Down syndrome. And it is extremely rare to have a baby with translocation Down syndrome born to a Doctor of Pediatric Occupational Therapy. 


What this means is that I wholeheartedly dedicate 8-10 hours a day to providing evidenced based top notch occupational therapy services to children birth through 26 years old.  What the world wouldn't have known about me is that I was extremely scared about if I'd have the energy to provide therapy to other people's children all day and then come home to provide a few more hours of therapy to my own child. And knowing me, I'd dedicate countless nighttime hours researching endocrine articles on growth hormones, otolaryngology articles about sleep apnea, adenoids, and tonsil removal. Cardiology articles about valve repairs, evidenced based oral motor therapies, nutritional therapies, and alternative therapies. My list of searchable interventions would consume my mind and I knew in my heart that I wouldn't be capable of handling both jobs or basically being on call 24 hours a day - every single day - for the rest of my life.  So yes, if someone was willing to take that pain away from me in an instant, I would have accepted. 


Back to that mom - Everyone has their own story and we don't have a right to an opinion about her choices. 


Now, hold tight. There's a second part to this. I am now five years into my journey and if my husband offered to leave me, run away to a beautiful place and raise my baby I'd do everything in my absolute mommy bear claw power to stop him -- Because five years ago I didn't know what I know now about this bittersweet journey.....


And that revelation is critical. 


I cannot believe there was a point in my life where was I was willing to let all of this all go.


It's obvious now, I was not properly educated. And that mom, that community, that country, has not been properly educated. 


It doesn't matter if eyes are round, fingers are short, noses are flat, or ears are small. Underneath all of those superficial characteristics is a beating heart, warm blood, and a brain driven by love, compassion, loyalty, pride, humor, and determination. 


That's my opinion of this story - shame on you for judging. 


Our Down syndrome community (above all) knows what it feels like to be judged. 


I challenge you to rethink those negative words towards that fearful mom and recognize that you need to be a part of the solution, not a part of the problem.  Our group needs band together as a team and trudge forward with our mission strongly placed at the forefront and:   Teach humanity how to embrace individuality.



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10 Comments
bonnie cornelius
2/7/2015 11:57:32 pm

And it's not just down syndrome babies it's all special needs babies!

Reply
Terry Pagels
2/7/2015 11:59:00 pm

Jamie, you nailed this right on! To not judge people takes practice, daily; thanks for your honest, loving reminder to just be kind.

Reply
Jamie McClintic
2/8/2015 08:40:42 am

You're wonderful in so many ways. Don't ever forget that!

Reply
Stef B
2/8/2015 12:36:48 am

Very well said! You rock momma!

Reply
Shelly Budnik
2/8/2015 12:42:49 am

I will forever be intrigued by your ability to express yourself and open your heart in a written manner. You are such an inspiration to many! I am unaware of the 'the news story' but am looking that up next!

Reply
Jamie McClintic
2/8/2015 08:40:07 am

Hopefully you were able to learn some new things today! :)

Reply
Connie Adamiak
2/8/2015 03:59:54 am

Jamie, Well said. Knowing you prior to marriage and a life of children, I have seen you go from energetic to looking like you had the life drained out of you and most recently looking like you have won the lottery. Maddox is such a sweet happy little girl and is so lucky to have you as a mom. She brightens up a room where ever she goes and I believe she is here to teach us all a lesson on love and kindness and to appreciate our accomplishments whether they are large or small.

I totally agree with you saying shame on you for judging. I don't think others really understand though until they have been in a situation that few others will ever experience. I admit I used to judge others and comment on their decisions or actions but I learned my lesson when I lived a life of verbal and psychological abuse and was afraid to leave with my children. Used to say I would never submit myself or my children to this but its not so easy to just leave. There is a lot to consider

Reply
Jamie McClintic
2/8/2015 08:39:30 am

Connie, you nailed it. Rebuilding is way harder than building. I'm honored you got to know all of the me's. There are many times I wished for the old me to reappear sooner but you're right it's slowly making an appearance. And you've witnessed it all from the very beginning. For that I'm thankful.

Reply
Jill Adams link
2/8/2015 10:40:51 am

Well said, Jamie. You make a difference in so many lives.

Reply
Melissa Schaedig
2/9/2015 09:49:03 am

Jamie,
You are an inspiration to us all. You have such great insights as a Mom and an educational leader. Thank you for sharing.....I so appreciate you and feel lucky to work with you. Last year, I joined a club that I didn't want to join...my daughter was diagnosed Bi-Polar Manic and spent much of the winter at Pointe East. Sometimes, we just have to make the best of it and pray for understanding and education of others.

You're the best Jamie!!

Reply



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