THE COUNTDOWN BEGINS

ANXIOUS......

Ok so there are this many moments until Maddox’s first birthday.  I am feeling a little overwhelmed, lost, angered, anxious, and deep within the crevices if I search hard, I might find a little joy.  My next few posts will reveal my innermost feelings as we approach Maddox’s birthday.  I will share the honest truth both good and bad.

I am angered because as I count down to Maddox’s birth, instead of planning the perfect party with perfect decorations I am planning how I am going to get Maddox to all of her therapies for this month.  While all my friends celebrate their child’s first birthday I can’t help but think about all the accomplishments they are actually celebrating.....eating big kid food, drinking from a sippy  cup, crawling, pulling to stand, using a spoon, throwing a ball, pointing, etc...  You know, all those little things parents take for granted, our daughter is not doing any of them.  So you see, I have to search hard to find what it is we are going to celebrate.  And this...below....therapy every single day.....is not what I want to be celebrating.

January 2011 Tentative Therapy Schedule for Maddox

3rd PT 12:45 
4th Speech
5th Teaching 8:45 (Happy Birthday Maddox) 
6th PT at ARMC 12:30
7th Teaching 8:45 and Speech
10th Outpatient PT, OT, ST at ARMC (Scott and Jamie taking day off, no Susie)
11th PT at ARMC
12th Teaching 8:45 and Speech
13th PT 12:00
14th Teaching 8:45 and Speech
17th PT 12:45
18th PT at ARMC
19th Teaching 8:45
20th Speech and outpatient OT, PT, and ST
21st Teaching 8:45 and Speech
24th PT 12:45
25th PT at ARMC
26th Teaching 8:45 and Speech
27th Outpatient PT, OT, and ST
28th Teaching 8:45 and Speech
31st PT 12:45

Think January is overwhelming?  Throw March on top of it.  In addition to her above therapies I just received our Ann Arbor medical appointments schedule.  In two days we will see eight doctors.  

Cardiologist
Speech therapist
Audiologist
Physical Medicine and Rehab doc
Otolaryengologist
Orthotist
Genetic Otolaryengoloist
Pediatric Surgeon

Thank goodness we are done with the opthamologist and pediatric genetics doctors for a few years!  10 appointments in two days would not have been cool.

I hope now, you can begin to scrape the surface and understand why it is hard for me to focus on pretty birthday cakes, presents, party hats, and candles?  

My mind is as far from a celebration as it can get.