Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the one less traveled by.
And that has made all the difference.
Yeah so uhhh...Being completely honest with you....Somehow I don’t find comfort in that poem.
Pretty much my interpretation is someone attempting to tell me sorry, even though I didn’t order mayo on my sandwich I have to eat it anyway, all the while pretending to like it.
During difficult times, everyone has their thing, their comfort, if this is yours, keep embracing it. It’s just not mine.
What I can say, is that do find solace in a poem by Robert Frost that I studied many years ago as as an English major at Hastings College.
The Road Not Taken
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
Sigh....Isn’t that great? Something in that last verse comforts me knowing that by taking a risk, taking the road less traveled, that in the end, my reward just might be better off than if I had chosen the safe road.
There is only a handful of people that will get to experience the road I am on. That is unique in itself. My goal is share with you what I learn while taking the one less traveled.. And yes, there are lots of bad things that happen along the way, but the good things....Oh the good things are sweeter than apple pie. For example, I came home yesterday to find out Maddox learned how to feed her baby a bottle.
This is not simply a milestone, this skill is the ticket to life. The more concepts she shows us she knows today, the greater success we have for her future.
You see, the mere fact that Maddox can feed a baby means that she will someday feed herself. If she can feed herself, then she can take care of herself. If she can take care of herself, then she can live alone. If she can live alone, she is capable of working. If she can work, then vet school here we come! Lastly, if she can work, she can buy a home and won’t have to live in a group home.
Boo ya, mission accomplished. That’s what we want for our daughter, for her to be an EQUAL member of society. And yes, the mere fact that Maddox can feed herself is reassures us that most all our hopes and dreams for her will be achieved.
Back to The Road Not Taken and the deep realization I had today.
When I was pregnant, I became friends with a group of other pregnant moms. After I had Maddox, these new friendships fizzled for obvious reasons from both ends. It was just too difficult. What do I say to them, what do they say to me? As they were experiencing the most joyful time in life, I was experiencing the worst in mine. All of the sudden everything we had in common became nothing in common.
Instead of hanging with them and celebrating their new joy, I was busy healing. They were living life, continuing on, without waiting for me. Before I knew it, we were two different people at two different stages of life....All that in an instant.
Although we don’t say much to each other, I see this group often. This week, I was actually able stand back as an outsider and watch them, watch exactly what road I would have traveled if things had been “normal.” I was able to see what events I would have attended and who I would have gone with. I watched all their children walk and talk, and imagined me laughing with them adoring my walking talking little girl. I saw how much fun I would have been having, because yes if things had been different, I would have been experiencing mommy hood right alongside them.
The good part of the realization is that while I was busy healing, I didn’t know I was taking the road less traveled.
In came a whole new groups of friends. This group provided an intricate intertwining level of support in more ways that one can begin to imagine. Some listened, some brought meals, some waited out my pain before initiating, others gave advice, some pretended nothing happened, and some shared their own stories. While I didn’t want any of this, I unconsciously tried hard to push these caring people away. I remember ignoring their calls, avoiding their questions, and tuning out their stories. This didn’t matter, they continued to push me. It soon became known, these people knew me better than I knew myself and were going to do everything in their power by absolutely refusing to let my spirit be broken.
Today, at a community event, I stood back and not only did I envy the crowd I was supposed to be part of, I felt extreme comfort in the crowd I belonged to.
This, my friends, brings me back to the two roads that diverged in a wood and I took the one less traveled by AND THAT HAS MADE ALL THE DIFFERENCE.
Thank you to those who those who refused to let me break.
The great thing about being a parent, if it is done right, is that you learn as many lessons and take the 'baby' steps the same way your child does. We open ourselves to new and brighter possibilities. You and Scott are doing this.Keep it up!! Know that your 'support group' is there for you -- please don't forget to ask us for the things and support you need. We will keep you upright when you stumble and celebrate all of the big and small victories with you. We are there even in the silence -- cheering you on.
THURSDAY, MAY 19, 2011 - 10:44 PM
Jamie, reading this made me cry. Because (to be very honest) there have been times that I have read your blog and be very mad, angry, sad, upset, you name it. Becasue I am traveling that road with you and I have been on MUCH longer than you and I kow what a wonderful, beautfiful, adventerous road it is. So everytime I have read your blogs I have thought to myslef and prayed that some day you will realize how beautiful this road is and although I have known from the start that you love your darling little girl I have often wished you appreciated her more and now to read this blog I know you have finally come to that and can see all the beauty in her. I know that we have never met in person but I love you and Maddox like we have known each other for years. please continue to enjoy this road even with the bumps and turns and pot holes that are ahead. I assure you it only keeps getting more beautiful. Cory will be 16 in less than 3 weeks and although it pains me greatly that I will not be taking him to get his drivers liscense I am super excited because we will be taking him to his first Detroit Tigers game and that will mean more to him than any liscense ever would. But on that same note. I do beleive that in the future he will get his liscense. I have been letting him drive and he does pretty good and with more practice my goal is that he will be able to get it when he is 18. He also just applied for his first job on a dairy farm owned by good friends of ours. Hang in there and keep on traveling.
THURSDAY, JULY 7, 2011 - 08:38 AM