Here is an entry that I wrote the night before Miss Maddox was born.
January 4, 2010
My first day back to work. I am really nervous for some reason. Just past Ossineke I had a crazy huge back to front radiating down the legs contraction that almost made me pull the car over. I had another one driving by Niemans, and a third in the PPOC parking lot and then things died down. At the doctors I found out I had dilated to 2 cm and the baby weighs 6.14 ounces. Bonnie, my midwife, reminded me that our plan was to induce if I made it to 37 weeks but to confirm her plan she needed to call the doctor. Meanwhile, we discussed the pros and cons of induction and decided together that a natural birth would be the way to go because induction is more painful and I would likely have a c-section as a result.
Anyhow, I left the appointment thinking I had at least a week before our baby was born. I was on my way home and got a call just before the “dead spot” at Squaw Bay so I pulled into Big lots. It was 4:40 when I answered. The caller was Bonnie and said the doctors are fairly confident there was an abruption and they don’t want me to labor at home, they want me to be monitored so..... 7:15 AM tomorrow is Induction Day.
I called Scott but he didn’t answer so I texted my friends to let them know, called mom and told her to book an airplane ticket asap and continued my drive home......in shock.
I got home, left all my ‘stuff’ in the car, walked in the house right by the dogs and said, “Honey?”
(Yes with a question mark). He took one look at my face and replied, “It’s time.”
My panicky voice said, “They are inducing at 7:15 tomorrow."
Scott asks if we are ready and then hugs me.
The rest of the night has been a blur, I talked with Josh, chatted with a friend on the computer but accidentally walked away in the middle of the conversation, I do remember painting my nails pink and putting the most perfect coat of glitter on them.
There is so much to do but I can’t process and don’t know where to start.
My life is officially going to change and I am scared to death, yet so excited. I hope and pray that Scott and I can keep our relationship healthy and our and love strong. Am I ready to be a mom? There are days that I still need to rely on others, but now I will have someone that relies on me. I am not sure I am ready for that or will I ever be? This scares me......A LOT.
Tonight as I lay me down to sleep, I pray our baby is healthy, we have a successful drug free birth, and that our lives are enriched even more by having our precious little girl around.
God I am really scared.
January 4, 2010
My first day back to work. I am really nervous for some reason. Just past Ossineke I had a crazy huge back to front radiating down the legs contraction that almost made me pull the car over. I had another one driving by Niemans, and a third in the PPOC parking lot and then things died down. At the doctors I found out I had dilated to 2 cm and the baby weighs 6.14 ounces. Bonnie, my midwife, reminded me that our plan was to induce if I made it to 37 weeks but to confirm her plan she needed to call the doctor. Meanwhile, we discussed the pros and cons of induction and decided together that a natural birth would be the way to go because induction is more painful and I would likely have a c-section as a result.
Anyhow, I left the appointment thinking I had at least a week before our baby was born. I was on my way home and got a call just before the “dead spot” at Squaw Bay so I pulled into Big lots. It was 4:40 when I answered. The caller was Bonnie and said the doctors are fairly confident there was an abruption and they don’t want me to labor at home, they want me to be monitored so..... 7:15 AM tomorrow is Induction Day.
I called Scott but he didn’t answer so I texted my friends to let them know, called mom and told her to book an airplane ticket asap and continued my drive home......in shock.
I got home, left all my ‘stuff’ in the car, walked in the house right by the dogs and said, “Honey?”
(Yes with a question mark). He took one look at my face and replied, “It’s time.”
My panicky voice said, “They are inducing at 7:15 tomorrow."
Scott asks if we are ready and then hugs me.
The rest of the night has been a blur, I talked with Josh, chatted with a friend on the computer but accidentally walked away in the middle of the conversation, I do remember painting my nails pink and putting the most perfect coat of glitter on them.
There is so much to do but I can’t process and don’t know where to start.
My life is officially going to change and I am scared to death, yet so excited. I hope and pray that Scott and I can keep our relationship healthy and our and love strong. Am I ready to be a mom? There are days that I still need to rely on others, but now I will have someone that relies on me. I am not sure I am ready for that or will I ever be? This scares me......A LOT.
Tonight as I lay me down to sleep, I pray our baby is healthy, we have a successful drug free birth, and that our lives are enriched even more by having our precious little girl around.
God I am really scared.
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